IT'S TIME FOR THE HIGHLAND PARK GAMES!

A GREAT DEAL OF FUN was had by all this past weekend at the annual Highland Park Games! Held on the grounds of St. Talisker College near Jamesonburgh, the Games afford our priests a rare occasion to let their hair down and showcase their skill.

The Games opended with the traditional tossing of the heretic, which this year featured representatives of the Little Brothers of Barley, the Knights of Malt, and St. Ardbeg's Hospital. The tossing, as always, involved genuine heretics (certified as such by the law firm of Tun, Hogshead & Butt) who were collected only hours before, by the Knights of Malt, from establishments infamous for serving blended malts. The tossing was won again this year by Friar Butch (pictured below), of the Little Brothers of Barley, whose flawless technique and perfect follow-through won the admiration of the crowd.

Friar Butch, although he has never quite mastered illumination and the gentler arts of the scriptorium, does indeed toss a mean heretic!
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In fact, as often happens when the energetic Little Brother handles a toss, the heretic recanted upon landing. He was immediately taken to St. Ardbeg's Hospital for reeducation.

But the Highland Park Games are not simply games of strength. They also provide an opportunity for the winsome Sisters of the Still to showcase their cheerleading abilities! The picture below shows some of the sisters cheering the monks of the Monastery of Malt during the running of the barrels -- one of the most thrilling and popular games. That picture alone shows why the Caledonian Conclave gets so many vocations! Where else would you find such a fine group of, shall we say, spirited young ladies! But don't you get into the habit...

And that's not all. The first day of the Games ended, as always, with a haggis-eating competition for the little ones! The last one to be sick wins! This year, little Tobias "Tubby" Tompkins, 8 years old, won the contest hand-down, downing an astonishing 2.5 pounds of finest haggis before collapsing. (St. Ardbeg's Hostpital wishes to reassure the public that the child is expected to survive).
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Stay tuned for more updates from the Highland Park Games! More information and pictures will be posted on this website soon!
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Spiritum Laudamus.

BOOK REVIEW

UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING in a barrelhouse for the last several decades, you are aware that the series of currents generally described as "Libation Theology" represents one of the most intense -- and controversial -- areas of discussion in the Church today. Although Pope Balvenie XVI's recent encyclical, "In Uisge Beatha Veritas," briefly appeared to settle the issue in favor of the traditionalists, the fact remains that certain aspects of libation theology are still very much alive. In particular, the "One Cellar - Many Barrels" idea is currently under intense discussion in seminaries and monasteries of the Conclave. A new book by Father Cooper investigates the origins and implications of this deeply controversial topic.

Barrelhouse God, a hefty and scholarly tome, is Cooper's attempt to reconcile the apparent paradoxes of a theology that may, in its most extreme expressions, condone the drinking of some blended malts -- anathema to a large segment of the faithful. Even more controversial, the idea that there may be many equally worthy paths to the Spirit seems to imply that partaking in Armagnacs, Cognacs, and fine fruit brandies, may not be the path to eternal damnation it has long been represented to be. Nevertheless, and although it has long been frowned upon by the papacy, Many Barrels theology is currently under cautious, albeit extensive, review by the College of Cardinals. The vast number of barrels of exotic liqueurs delivered everyday for tasting by the Cardinals is, alone, testament to the commendable thoroughness and seriousness with which the College has been approaching this issue.

While an official decision is expected any day, continued debate on the merits of this theology will not end soon. With that in mind, the Cardinals may wish to read Cooper's thought-provoking work. While the book does not purport to challenge the current approach, the author's personal experimentation with different expressions of the Spirit seems to suggest that a state of higher exaltation may indeed well be attained through different expressions. Are those expressions nothing more than many barrels in a larger cellar? That, for now, is still a matter left to the conscience of the reader of Barrelhouse God.

Fr. Marcel

Barrelhouse God
Hidebound $ 65.95 U.S.___$ 199.50 Can.___€ 2.99
Stinking Bog Publications, Inc.
1,243 pages incl. 193 scratch-and-sniff pages
Fully annotated bibliography
Tasting notes available from the publisher upon request. SASE, please.
Nosing glass included
Illustrated coffee-table edition complete with indulgences due for publication Spring, 2009!
Not available in Papal Bookstores