IT'S TIME FOR THE HIGHLAND PARK GAMES!

A GREAT DEAL OF FUN was had by all this past weekend at the annual Highland Park Games! Held on the grounds of St. Talisker College near Jamesonburgh, the Games afford our priests a rare occasion to let their hair down and showcase their skill.

The Games opended with the traditional tossing of the heretic, which this year featured representatives of the Little Brothers of Barley, the Knights of Malt, and St. Ardbeg's Hospital. The tossing, as always, involved genuine heretics (certified as such by the law firm of Tun, Hogshead & Butt) who were collected only hours before, by the Knights of Malt, from establishments infamous for serving blended malts. The tossing was won again this year by Friar Butch (pictured below), of the Little Brothers of Barley, whose flawless technique and perfect follow-through won the admiration of the crowd.

Friar Butch, although he has never quite mastered illumination and the gentler arts of the scriptorium, does indeed toss a mean heretic!
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In fact, as often happens when the energetic Little Brother handles a toss, the heretic recanted upon landing. He was immediately taken to St. Ardbeg's Hospital for reeducation.

But the Highland Park Games are not simply games of strength. They also provide an opportunity for the winsome Sisters of the Still to showcase their cheerleading abilities! The picture below shows some of the sisters cheering the monks of the Monastery of Malt during the running of the barrels -- one of the most thrilling and popular games. That picture alone shows why the Caledonian Conclave gets so many vocations! Where else would you find such a fine group of, shall we say, spirited young ladies! But don't you get into the habit...

And that's not all. The first day of the Games ended, as always, with a haggis-eating competition for the little ones! The last one to be sick wins! This year, little Tobias "Tubby" Tompkins, 8 years old, won the contest hand-down, downing an astonishing 2.5 pounds of finest haggis before collapsing. (St. Ardbeg's Hostpital wishes to reassure the public that the child is expected to survive).
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Stay tuned for more updates from the Highland Park Games! More information and pictures will be posted on this website soon!
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Spiritum Laudamus.